I hate EPM

Today was a busy, productive day. Jon and I worked on using Marie Kondo’s method of tidying. I spent a lot of time going through and folding clothes that brought me joy. I looked through lots of pictures to pick what ones we would want hanging in our home. The log cabin can be quite dark so I also made sure to think of how each photo would brighten up our space. We got so much accomplished and I was feeling pretty happy about it. We finished in perfect timing to go to the barn to feed the horses. Barn chores heal the soul, they always make me feel grounded. Doc has to eat fish oil gels and he absolutely hates them. He has since conned us into giving him treats broken up to be tricked into eating them. After I gave Doc his treats I sat down in front of his stall, he started nuzzling me and licking me. The wave hit me again, I miss riding, I can’t lie and say that I don’t. However, that is not to say that I don’t appreciate every moment I have with him. I am so thankful that he is still here and still fighting for me. When I was looking back at photos today I looked through old ones of Doc and I; I saw old shows, pictures of beautiful memories. I noticed in those photos Doc’s nostrils, they used to be so round, since the EPM they have elongated. So many things have been taken from us, I miss the carefree way I did chores and rode and spent time at the barn. Since the EPM, three years ago now my life was rocked. I know people have lost their horses to EPM and I am thankful that we worked so hard to save Doc, and that he fought so hard for me. I still can’t help but hate what it took from me. I hate EPM, I hate what it did to my horse, I hate that no matter how much time and money I spend it will never be enough to “cure” him. It just plain sucks.

About me

Hi everyone! I thought I should probably introduce myself and tell you why I started this blog. My name is Blair, and I’m from a small town in CT where I live with my husband and two dogs, and also my grandparents that live in an addition on the house.

I wanted a creative outlet to share some thoughts cuz I like to think other people have similar ones. I have a horse, whom I adore, and he had gotten really sick a little over three years ago now, whenever I researched his diagnosis I found only doom and gloom articles and stories. Since then I have met a lot of people who had horses that have had EPM and I see a lot of posts with people looking for hope and information, I want to be that for someone. However, our story has taken a bit of a sad turn and I wanted some way to get my feelings out. Doc is pretty much retired now which is a decision I’ve been struggling with. Not in the sense of it being the wrong decision, I know it’s the right one but it is still very hard. Riding has always been my escape, it’s been my “therapy” my stress relief, my happy place, it sucks when you lose that. I find a lot of the time I might come off as being ungrateful that I still have my horse which is most certainly not the case. I am so incredibly thankful to still have him in my life.

My husband, Jon and I also recently started the Whole 30 and I wanted to write about that too. I hope those of you who are reading get a little something out of my musings. On day 10 of this whole 30 it is 8 o’clock and I’m ready to get in bed. Ha ha!

My whole 30 truths

A little bit before New Year’s Eve Jon and I decided we wanted to tackle the whole 30. We felt we were drinking too much and eating crap food. Well, when I say we, I mean me. I convinced my fairly agreeable husband to do it with me. We stocked up on the classic staples, such as ghee, riced and spiralized veggies, and meats. Today is day 8 out of 30. We have powered through the sugar withdrawal headaches, the sleepiness and crankiness. The truth is I miss beer. I can’t lie, I really miss it. The eating healthier is isn’t too hard, seems that the first few days were the hardest in that aspect. Personally I’ve found that I get into routines and I reward myself with beer. Each day gets easier, I made a delicious dinner that both Jon and I loved and felt like we were eating normally. Getting into new routines, and breaking old habits are difficult, but I know that on day 31 I’m going to feel like a rockstar. However, I guess my main whole 30 truth is I miss beer and sometimes I get a little cranky, but hey don’t we all?

Pictured: Tonight’s delicious dinner of shrimp taco cauliflower rice bowl. 🤤🤤